My Daughter is Suicidal…How Do I Help Her?
Many calls to our Texas crisis center come from people in personal distress—but some of the most urgent are from parents worried about their children. When a mom or dad calls our crisis hotline after finding something alarming—like a note, a social media post, or a diary entry—it’s because they’re scared, confused, and looking for answers.
That’s where our trained volunteers come in. While empathy is always the foundation, these moments also require calm guidance and thoughtful, skillful questioning. It’s about listening and helping parents understand what they’re seeing and what steps they can take next.
Below, one of our crisis helpline volunteers shares a powerful story from a call with a concerned parent. It’s a reminder of how our crisis hotline provides clarity and hope when it’s needed most.
Helping Parents Understand
“I’ve read my daughter’s diary. I believe she is suicidal. What do I do?”
I am silent for a moment while I take a deep breath. Unlike other calls coming into the Texas Crisis Center primarily requiring empathy, this call requires both information and empathy. I must balance it carefully.
“Tell me about what you’ve seen and heard from your daughter—at home and in her conversations about school and friends,” I ask. With suicidal teens, there are likely situational and behavioral clues, often with mixed messages.
She may write in her diary that she is suicidal because she has no friends/boyfriend, yet she has three invitations to Prom. You may read that she asked to stay home from school because in her words, “I’m just so dumb and stupid,” but you know that she makes straight A’s.
Regardless of whether you as a parent can make sense of the reasons, what makes your teen suicidal is unendurable psychological pain. Perhaps THE boy she likes did not invite her to the Prom. Perhaps other classmates make wisecracks about her intelligence, causing her to ACT dumb.
You might also read concerning things like, “Well, I won’t have to deal with those people much longer,” clearly a threat made privately only to pacify herself. You might notice a drop in grades, loss of interest in activities, mood shifts, or changes in eating habits. Perhaps there is a divorce or drug/alcohol use.
All of this indicates that your daughter needs some sort of solution to her problems, and when finding none, she simply decides the only solution is to cease to exist. She feels helpless/hopeless to address her needs.
A Parent’s Role in Helping Their Suicidal Teen
“Mom and Dad would never understand me or how I feel. To them, I’m pretty, popular, and smart. If they only knew what a loser I am! Well, they’ll know after I’m dead.” The teen who wrote this is feeling intense emotions and very isolated.
The goal is to reduce this by actively listening to each feeling that she shares and repeating it back to her for clarification. Ask her questions to clarify her meaning like, “What causes you to believe you are a loser?” These questions convey the love and care that you feel for her. By exploring questions with her such as “What change has to be made?” she will open her mind to the possibility that maybe she can help herself out of her desperate thoughts.
Also, sharing allows her to feel less trapped and a little less hopeless now that someone else can help her. Perhaps she is open to sharing her feelings with others, so try asking: “Who else is available to help you?” The answer might be a school counselor, a relative, or a professional counselor. The goal is to enable the teen to decide for herself that she is willing to work in different ways to find her answers, with you as her supporter.
At the Suicide & Crisis Center, We Are On Your Team
While you are there to help and support your teen, we are here to help and support you. If you are concerned about your teen’s behavior or thoughts and feelings they have expressed, call us. Our trained crisis helpline volunteers will guide you through this emotional and confusing time and help you take the next steps to help the child you love more than anything.
If you need help with your suicidal teen, call us anytime day or night at (214) 828-1000. We’re here for you and your family.